I've had several opportunities to share my eccentricities and peculiarities with the world lately. Either through conversation or revelation, friends and strangers alike have learned interesting little facts about me that really help to define my unique nature.
So I decided to put them all into one post (at least all the ones I can think of), so everyone knows the same little details.
I tie my shoes with a 2-loop method. This is also called "Bunny Ears," I think. My mom taught it to me when I was little, and it seemed much more efficient for me than the 1-loop wraparound method. I've never switched.
I don't make sure my socks are on correctly. I don't care if the heel is pointed up or down or sideways. I just make sure that they're covering my feet.
I have a single hair that grows from the middle of my left earlobe. I also have one on my nose. I usually let the one on my nose grow until I can see it without a mirror. I let the one on my ear grow until it annoys my wife.
I only write with Sharpie Pens. It started with Sharpie Ultra Fine Point. I love the feel of writing with a tiny felt pen, I love drawing in black felt ink, I love the bold character statement made by always signing my name with something pemanent, and I trust the Sharpie name.
I always go inside banks. Even if I have all the necessary material to use a drive-thru teller, I will go inside. There are a few reasons for this: 1. I hate feeling like I'm part of the mass of this country that is so lazy that they have to drive up to a tube and put their money in it. 2. I also don't want to encourage the growing trend of our culture to become less socially interactive. And finally, 3. I want my local bank to know me and trust me. I want to be a familiar "regular" to the establishment that handles my money.
The sound that I can't hear. You know those bumpy plastic sheets that you can tilt to make two different images appear? I can't be in the same room with one of those. If you rub your finger across one in front of me, it will make my spinal cord twinge. It's the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for some people, I think. I don't know for sure- because the chalkboard thing doesn't bother me.
Whispering / breathing on my neck. This does the same thing to me as the sound from the previous item.
I don't like wearing shorts in public. I believe there is an unrecognized psychological impression that a human gets from seeing someone with their legs exposed. I believe, deep down, even if just for a moment (which may be all we get with some people), we appear weaker if we are uncovered below the knee. What would your first impression be of a skyscraper with the beams exposed on the first 10 floors? I want to portray my body like a solid structure. Exceptions: If it's unbearably hot, or if I have no reason to make any impression on anyone (like if I'm driving all day on a long trip).
I have freakishly large calf muscles. I don't lift any weights. I never have. I just have very defined legs. Most people don't see them (because of the shorts rule from above). My dad has them too.
I don't chew gum. I have a hard time explaining this one. Gum never goes away. You can chew it for days and never destroy it. The flavor may be gone, but that happens before most people consider spitting it out. So the amount of time you leave a piece of gum in your mouth becomes arbitrary. The end time is so random and pointless, I'd rather not start.
I only shower twice a week. Seem gross? You probably have hair. I'm really not a disgusting person- I'm just bald. You don't feel dirty as quickily when you don't have any hair. Exceptions: I always take long showers in hotel rooms (because you're paying for them), I always shower before meetings, weddings, or other jobs, and I always shower after rigorous physical activity. Doesn't sound so gross after all that, does it?
I'll never write a song that starts with "I." This one doesn't have as much importance anymore, but I still hold on to it as a law of my life. I've written a few dozen songs in my life, but none have ever begun with the word "I." Several are about me personally, but I decided that beginning them with "I" would portray the songs as too self-centered. Obviously, I don't follow the same rule with my blog :)
I've never taken off my wedding ring. It's been over 7 years. It has never left my hand.
I eat chicken wings in one swift, sucking motion. I grab one end, put the whole wing in my mouth, bite down, and take all the meat off with one single movement. Perhaps it's best explained through video.
I sleep in a "Figure 4." I sit this way, too- but not all the time. I presume that it leads back to my childhood. I used to have to go to bed with braces on my legs because I would bow them and twist them in my sleep. Now when I sleep, I always lay in bed with one leg bent and tucked under the other knee (it looks like a number "4." It's a pro wrestling term).
For approximately 15 years of my life, I stifled every sneeze. I'm not even sure why I started, but it became as instinctive as putting my hand up to cover it. I never let them go. I was told that I might actually be losing years of my life by stifling them, and in the last 3 years I've tried to break the habit. I now have very deliberate, liberating sneezes. They feel great.
I wrap my lips around glass bottles. As pointed out to me by a former girlfriend, I treat the opening to glass bottles like the opening to a straw. I dont place my lips inside the bottle and drink- I put the whole bottle in my mouth. Not those wide mouth iced tea bottles, mind you... Just soda/beer bottles. Is this officially improper? I don't know.
and finally...
I always read magazines backwards. The page flipping motion that feels most comfortable to me is to hold the spine with my right hand and flip with my left. Therefore, I start at the end of a magazine and work toward the beginning. I'm working on an idea for making money off of this- because
I know I'm not alone.
